What do you call 1000 lawyers chained together under the sea?
A good start.
Category: Miscellaneous
Happy Hour Law
At the height of happy hour, a drunk stood up and yelled, “All lawyers are assholes.”
“Hey, I resent that,” a guy at the bar yelled back.
Why?” the first guy asked, “are you a lawyer?”
“No, I’m an asshole.”
Genie, a Man, and A Lawyer
A guy finds a magic lamp, rubs it, and out comes a Genie. The Genie gives the man 3 wishes, but ads the caveat that whatever he wishes for goes twice for lawyers.
“I wish to have 10 million dollars,” the man says. The Genie grants his wish and gives double the amount to all lawyers.
“I wish for a loving, sexy, beautiful woman who is eternally devoted to me.” The Genie grants his wish and gives two such woman to all lawyers.
After some pause the man begins to smile. Intrigued, the Genie asks,”What is your final wish, my Master.” The man replied, “I wish to donate a kidney.”
Lawyer IQ
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your honor.
Lawyer Gone Bad
What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?
Senator.
Lawyer and a Trampoline
What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
Lawyer and a Tick
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick stops draining you and drops off after you’re dead.
Roofing a House
How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
Depends on how thin you slice them.
Lawyer at the Beach
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
Legal Afterlife
How can you tell there’s an after life for lawyers?
Because after they die, they lie still.