Tag: One-Liner

Marketing Analogies

For all the ladies who have asked, “What is marketing?”, the following analogies will help clear it up…

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”
– That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, “She’s fantastic in bed.”
– That’s Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”
– That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I,” and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”
– That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”
– That’s Brand Recognition.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.
– That’s a Sales Rep.

Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you.
– That’s Tech Support.

You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!”
– That’s Spam.

3 pieces of Stringaa

3 pieces of String decided one evening,to go to a bar for a Drink. Two found a seat, and one walked up to the bar, and asked the barman for a pint of Bitter. “Im not serving you!” the barman replied, “you’re a piece of string!” So the string went back to his friends and told them how he couldn’t get served. The second piece of string said he’d try, and would be really polite in order to get served. So,he walks to the bar, and says “Lovely pub you’ve got here, nice location, ill have a pint of Bitter please mate.” The barman again, replies: “im not serving you, your a piece of string!” So, the third piece of string,decides to disguise himself in an atempt to get served. He ripps himself up, and generally makes himself look a mess, and walks over to the bar. “Ill have a pint of Bitter please mate” the string says to the barman. So the barman replies, “Hey, your a peice of string arn’t you?” And the string replies “Im affraid not!” (A frayed knot)